So Far Away

How do I live, without the ones I love? My thoughts wondered. This moment was so unreal, that I could not accept that it had happened. It hadn’t happened. And yet it had.

Her body lay there, next to the car. Her circular face was perfect, straight curves and pale skin. She looked so peaceful.

I crawled to her on my knees, my skin scraping against the hard concrete. I touched her face. Her skin felt so smooth, so untouched. I wiped the cracked glass from her face and looked her in those golden brown eyes. Those eyes in which I knew so well, now snatched from me and stolen. Something I could never get back.

“Kaya” I said simply, my voice trembling. There was no reply. “Kaya, please talk to me.” The silence that followed was haunting. My whole world spun, I could hear my blood rushing through me. Her skin was as cold as mine.

“Kaya, I love you” The words tumbled from my mouth. “Kaya, please, you can’t leave me,” Words were leaving my mouth fast now, it was uncontrollable. I had to tell her how I felt. “Kaya, you’re beautiful. You’re amazing, you’re funny and warm and kind, you’re clever and athletic and talented; you’re everything I could want. Please Kaya, don’t be so godamn selfish!” Tears I held back now sprawled across my cheeks, I let them fall. The world was nothing without her.

I screamed at her, shouted and yelled, all the words I felt. The bad words I said, the good words, they all followed, one after the other. Forever awaiting a reply, yet never receiving.

I stayed next to her until I felt a hard grasp on my shoulders, forcing me backwards. They let go of me, and watched me fall, until my head reached the stone floor. My head crashed violently against it, making me feel dizzy. But I got up, running straight for Kaya; and that’s when I heard it.

At first I stopped, the back of my mind realising a loud sound had occurred. I turned around, and saw everyone was watching me, not chasing, but watching. I found it considerably harder to walk, but stumbled to her, and collapsed lying next to her.

Then the pain arrived.

It wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t like what I had seen in movies, it was calmer. It wasn’t agonisingly painful, what was worse was knowing I failed my task; protecting Kaya. It was like a needle prick, but deeper and more consistent.

I brushed the hair out of her face, and looked at her. With a last breath, I whispered one thing.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s funny how a single piece of metal can end a life. It’s funny how it ended mine.

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About helenloraine

film maker, photographer and travel enthusiast

Posted on February 4, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I really love how the persons talking to Kaya, saying all this lovely gooey stuff, and then they scream: “Please Kaya, don’t be so godamn selfish!”. That really stood out for me :]

    “It’s funny how a single piece of metal can end a life. It’s funny how it ended mine.” Amazing last line, really punches you in the gut!

    I loved the fact that we never knew what gender the storyteller was :]

  2. THATS FRICKEN AMAAAZING HELEN. GOD

  3. Helen, stop putting yourself down! This is an EPIC story!

    *MUCH ADORATION IS BEING SENT YOUR WAY*

  4. I keep rereading this over and over. It’s just simply amazing, Helen.
    Stop being so damn selfish and share your writing skills with me. XD

  5. I really don’t find it that good haha, but thank you!

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